Three a.m. and I am outside again
Smoking my non-American cigarettes
and contemplating
your departure,
you bastard.
Beni's plant is dying
and I don't know how to save it
because my hands are white
like frost
I am not green like my mother
I bought a mask for Carnivale.
I want to wear it now
even if it doesn't hide
my minding eyes
my smile has always masked
enough
I am not playing your games.
When I grow up
I'm going to be a lesbian
because I don't know
what to do with men
anymore
5 comments:
Please don't hide your eyes. I care not about the smile, it is the eyes that either give a twinkle or ar dull of heart, giving a glimpse of the inner soul.
Plants need plenty of sunshine. Too much water and they will drown with attention too little and they whither just like friends.
I think you do know what to do with men. But you haven't found the one that deserve's it yet.
Ok I seem to have used my other account. So that is my real name.
Ironman
The thoughts are the same, whether not the name.
It's not often I find myself agreeing with someone online, but today I do.
I wouldn't want you to hide your eyes, yet I would also miss your smile. A true smile is far better than a smile affixed to a mask (whether literal or psychological).
I am truly sorry for the sort of man you've ended up with on several occasions. However honorable some parts of them may have been, they still treated you like dirt. That, or they were just generally terrible people with a handful of positive attributes. Either way, you've just been dealt a bad hand.
Also, I sympathize with you on not knowing what-to-do-with-the-opposite-sex. Like one man once said, "If it weren't for the sex, I could see me being gay. Because then you're just hanging out with your buddies." Odd and awkward, but it speaks a grain of truth.
I'm already having enough trouble defending O-Town. Don't make me defend Men in general. Perhaps we deserve at least one more chance? (with regards to the town, I do hope the last chance falls upon a good season. and with regards to men, I do hope that the target of the last chance is worthy of your attention)
Don't let the German winter freeze your heart...
As in Olympia, the sun does not shine during winter in Koln. I'm deciding when to water by soil dryness, which is how my mother taught me... I do know how to take care of plants, I'm just not good at it like she is.
You might be playing their games
But you've never played by their rules.
And growth is not a when
but a how
and I have seen it written across your flesh.
I thought you knew by now,
your love defies gender. Love.
And when you don't know,
let go of knowing,
and give turn to instinct.
men are men are rain as
women are women are snow.
Forevermore.
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